Life style choices much later look unrelated. Leave baby parked alone in square room, baby cry, need to be held, no safe, make him adjust to adult schedule, baby brain helpless like kangaroo, spanked, scolded, tears dry again, look up to walls, screaming, left to stew, not know how. Shy choked with fears of forgotten sorrow, hypervigilant to surrounding, suppress self, desires loud, can’t hear inner voice, thoughts vague and nebulous, confused. accommodating the parents, and the others, always, Hedonistic strivings upside down. Parents unavailable, dominating, have own needs. Mother cool and skinny, forever young, get laid. How to find the joy of life. no stifle smother squash suppress. Bold autistic, resist directives, no adjust adapt, rigid, uncompromising, just howl and kick, see all detail to understand. Sociopathic solutions, no feather ruffle, just slide by, no compassion, no fear, no care. Smooth. Change brain, lotsa drugs, forget the lonely. Sex addiction, be held by stranger any time. Food addiction, self-feed, self-soothe. Anger, make-believe big strong Tarzan. Say, I am, don’t push me! Say, no! I don’t wannu. Spread his wings, be himself, find what it is. Imagine alive and free, both. Seek safety heal trauma a little bit.