Wave Good-bye with a little Smile

It’s not as though she’ll ever stop being an alcoholic.
A wave of hopelessness can flood in at any time
Out of left field and sweep her away into the pool of
Death-defying and baffling self-destruction
In spite of all the good that happened.
Holding on to life remains a highly questionable matter.
She must allow for inconsolable heartache about things,
A pervasive schism in her soul
that can be tentatively and temporarily mended,
But can instantly rip a lethal gash
In response to threat and resentment.
And her interest in hope could wane and vanish.
An abyss underfoot and she can’t brace herself,
She will wave good-bye with a little smile
So that you may turn around and leave her alone,
And she won’t hear unanswerable questions.
Her existential loneliness is the ultimate truth,
The longing for departure to another reality –
It’s is not so much a problem as it is a way out
From the incomprehensible human nature,
Rejecting you as she feels abandoned by everyone.
When she is ready to slide into the abyss,
She won’t hear you saying, “But I’m right here for you”…
Her eyes and ears turn inward to her precipice.
Irresistible. She can’t help it.